Some of us fear commitment. Yet we want someone to commit to us.
Some of us want true love, yet fall into the trap of convenience over connection.
Outside influences may force some us to prematurely label a situation, that you or your partner may not have fully understood.
“You two suit." "You would be so cute together“
“I’ve never seen this boy act like this before with any girl”
Sounds familiar?
“Who is he to you?" "Who is she to you?"
"Is that your girl?" "Nah why?" "You're with her a lot.“
People, People. it takes more than enjoyed company & good sex to create foundations for a solid, long-lasting relationship.
Being labelled by your peers and pushed by your family is usually the driving factor behind “situationships” (click the link for 9 signs you are in a situationship).
These type of 'relationships' almost are always one-sided.
In my opinion A title is not stronger than a bond, and loving someone does not need to be labelled.
This is because in a 'situationship' there is always one person who wants the title more than the other, which prevents them from leaving because there is always a dream being sold of a 'title' on the horizon.
So when a 'situation' enters into the relationship stage, It's more than likely a forced communion.
I wouldn’t call it being trapped though, because usually the partner who wants the relationship are not aware that they have begun a one-sided relationship. I would just say sometimes our outside influences cloud our judgment which causes us to make premature decisions on relationships that technically have zero potential.
This is not directed at everyone, just the dummys living a fantasy with serial cheaters. & the naive ones pretending to be in love for convenience.
You cannot cheat real life connection, its part of nature.
So let me (try to) explain the misleading nature of titles in relationships.
&
The Unrealistic expectations of titles:
You should not need to force her/ or him to put a ring on it just for you to feel secure in a situation. Thats conforming to societal norms. And I know you’re not a sheep.
Alot of men and woman have a distorted assumption that once you receive that title you automatically receive the respect and loyalty that is supposed to come with it.
However, in reality titles come with nothing but expectations. Sometimes unrealistic ones. Rules and regulations that are usually set by the one who is obsessed with the “title” or comparing their relationship to others. A partner who acts like this forces commitment to slowly become chore-like for their counterpart. Whereas before the title, commiting might have just been out of their own free will.
Every relationship should have their own set of principles, that are PERSONALISED & catered to make both partners happy. But unfortunately too many people are caught up comparing their newborn relationships to Becky & John the youtube couple who have been together 10 years with 2 kids etc etc... without even knowing the ins & outs of that specific relationship.
Every successful couple make it work for themselves, and its not based on the title. That should come naturally. Stop forcing shit.
The reality is that a lot of people are loyal without a title, and others with a title are getting cheated on everyday. If just being the “Girlfriend/Boyfriend” is your end goal for a talking stage, and you think everything will just fall into place once your “cuffed” then you need to seriously rethink your reasons for entering a relationship.
In my opinion A title is not stronger than a bond, and loving someone does not need to be labelled.
You should not need to force her/ or him to put a ring on it just for you to feel secure in a situation. Thats conforming to societal norms. And I know you’re not a sheep.
Because even though a “title“ makes that person known to be yours and only yours...
We all know too well that it does not strengthen a bond if it is a forced bond,
It does not stop partners from being unfaithful,
And it definitely does not stop the outside world from trying to intervene.
Some women feel superior for the simple fact that they‘re in a relationship, and assume they must be put on a pedestal by their partners friends for the simple fact that they are “the girlfriend”
- When in reality those same friends are probably hiding the fact that your man cheated on you last week. They are not going to have some heightened respect for you, JUST because you have a title.
Some men expect their girlfriend to act a certain way, or even change their behaviour just because they should now act as a "wifey figure"
- When in reality these are unrealistic expectations for some people, that cause nothing but increased tension in some relationships.
Much of our generation seems to think that through a title feelings and affection will be increased, and having someone to take you out and claim you as your own is somehow a fulfilment or achievement.
It is not I assure you.
As much as I love to see young love and relationships, the nature of a title can create unnecessary arguments and unwarranted stress for both people.
Here are some unrealistic expectations set mostly by social media:
“A girlfriend is expected to have her partner’s social media password.”
“A good boyfriend is supposed to cut off any female associates that his girlfriend does not like.”
"If he doesn't cuff you after 3-6 months of talking stage he does not like you"
“A good girlfriend cannot post certain pictures on social media if she has a man.”
These are just some of the most popular expectations that young people expect from people in a relationship.
In some situations a title comes with a loss of youth and the puppy love aspect of the relationship is gone and replaced with the strains and rules of married life, & imagine some people have these expectations after 6 months of a knowing each other. You can lie to yourself and say you know them. But trust me you don't, and that's how some people end up trapped in toxic situations.
But hey, what do I know. I'm for the streets :)
You can read the female and male perspective and my first version of this topic on (https://worthofmouth.co.uk/2017/11/15/relationships/)By Shiroe Zita.
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